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    Marriage: Husbands And Wives

The person we should treat with the most respect, love and admiration is the person we marry, but that seldom is how it works.  In fact, the person who sees us at our worst, is the one most often overlooked in our lives, who takes a back seat to children, a career or to financial responsibilities.  The person we couldn't wait to spend forever with is the one we can never find time for.   Is there any wonder that divorce is on the rise?  Why do we fall out of love with our mate? Could it be we just didn't anticipate how long forever would actually last?  Or that our partner's habits which we once thought quirky and endearing could morph in to irritating and annoying at the speed of light?

Along with marriage comes very real responsibilities of home, family, college, retirement, all the while keeping our finances, our social duties and family obligations running like a Swiss clock.  There is that perfect image of what families should be; the Norman Rockwell painting we all aspire to... and then there is the reality of what real families are.  Imperfect, frustrating, disappointing, joyful, the heart endearing nucleus that we hold on to with both our hands.  Is it any wonder that we loose sight of the importance of our partner in our life?  Or that we find ourselves
concentrating on a million other things other then nurturing and loving that partner?  We go from being soul mates to not knowing each other at all.  Marriage is never easy, be it the first time or the tenth.

Articles On Husband And Wife Relationships


Surprising Reasons You're Not Having Sex Anymore

Sexless Marriages

Sexuality In Midlife And Beyond

Making Marriage Work After Retirement

Emotional Cheating



Meeting Your Emotional Needs

Expecting your spouse to fill your emotional needs is not only unfair, it is unreasonable. You should take responsibility for filling your emotional needs yourself.

   Drapers and Damon's
 
"If you are looking to a partner to make you feel worthwhile, to make you feel happy, to rescue you from a bored or unhappy life, if you are seeking someone to make you feel complete or whole -- well then you have some work to do, because these are needs that are never going to be met by any one other than yourself," says Sugrue. To put those demands on someone else is to set up yourself -- and the relationship -- for failure."
Source: Dennis Sugrue, psychologist.
 


Here Are Ten Things That Many Wives Want From Their Husbands. 

Note that these are "wants" -- not emotional needs. As individuals, we are each responsible for filling our own emotional needs.

The four basic emotional needs are the need to be loved and to love; the need to belong; the need for a good self-image; and the need for autonomy.

                         

1)  Wives Want To Hear, "I Love You"
Everyone wants to be affirmed. Everyone wants to know they are loved. The best ways to say "I love you" are usually in simple, everyday, seemingly unimportant ways like an unexpected hug or holding hands when you walk together.

2).  Understanding And Forgiveness
There will be days when your wife will make mistakes or when she will be difficult to be around. No one is perfect. She both wants and deserves your willingness to understand and forgive her. Remember that no relationship can be sustained without forgiveness.

3)  Conversation
Don't let your conversations with your wife dwindle to nothing but talk about your kids, your jobs, and the weather. If that happens, your marriage relationship could be in real trouble.

4).  Willingness To Make Time For Her
Having quality time with your wife and kids isn't something that just happens. You have to make it happen by not only making the plans but by following through. Time with those you love has to be a high priority for you.

5)  Saying "Yes" More Then Saying No
Habitual negative responses to your wife and kids can push them away from you. Think twice before saying "no" and you will be surprised at how saying "yes" can improve your relationships.

6)  Listening Well 
It's really disheartening for a wife to share her thoughts and feelings with her mate and then realize that he didn't actually listen to her. Your wife wants you to not only listen with your ears, but to listen with your heart.

7)  Affection And Kindness 
How often do you say "please" or "thank you" or give your spouse an unexpected kiss? Unfortunately, some married couples forget that being kind and affectionate to one another are keys to a successful marriage.

8)  Sharing Household Responsibilities 
One of the main reasons couples fight is conflict over who is doing what around the house. Chores and child care are not the sole responsibility of your wife. She shouldn't have to ask you to do your share around the house.

9)  A Day Off Now And Then
Don't fuss about your wife taking a day off several times a month. This means that she will be free from worrying about what is happening with the kids, the house, the pets, and you. She deserves this break in her schedule and she needs to provide it for herself to be emotionally and physically healthy.

10)  Taking Care Of Yourself Physically And Emotionally 
Many men are notorious for not taking care of themselves when it comes to health issues. This isn't fair to your wife. She is your lover not your mother. Take responsibility for your own health concerns.